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COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

I always wondered whether this was Bud Abbott and Lou Costello or whether it was Tony Abbott and Peter Costello who also just happen to be best mates?

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTTSuper Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLOThanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTTMac?
COSTELLONo, the name's Lou.
ABBOTTYour computer?
COSTELLOI don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTTMac?
COSTELLOI told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTTWhat about Windows?
COSTELLOWhy? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTTDo you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLOI don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTTWallpaper.
COSTELLONever mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTTSoftware for Windows?
COSTELLONo. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTTOffice.
COSTELLOYeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTTI just did.
COSTELLOYou just did what?
ABBOTTRecommend something.
COSTELLOYou recommended something?
ABBOTTYes.
COSTELLOFor my office?
ABBOTTYes.
COSTELLOOK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTTOffice.
COSTELLOYes, for my office!
ABBOTTI recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLOI already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTTWord.
COSTELLOWhat word?
ABBOTTWord in Office.
COSTELLOThe only word in office is office.
ABBOTTThe Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLOWhich word in office for windows?
ABBOTTThe Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLOI'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTTMoney.
COSTELLOThat's right. What do you have?
ABBOTTMoney.
COSTELLOI need money to track my money?
ABBOTTIt comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLOWhat's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTTMoney.
COSTELLOMoney comes with my computer?
ABBOTTYes. No extra charge.
COSTELLOI get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTTOne copy.
COSTELLOIsn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTTMicrosoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLOThey can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTTWhy not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTTSuper Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLOHow do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTTClick on "START".............